Clippy spots a wolf and tells Mr. Kornada
[!0.987]2011-08-10

Good morning, Mr. Kornada. Isn't it a wonderful day?

Your breakfast, sir. Also, the robot war ended with no damage on either side.

I stage a war and there's no damage or casualties? What kind of war is that?

The best kind, sir. Do you wish the blue or the yellow duck for this morning's bath?

Color by George Peterson

Clippy spots a wolf and tells Mr. Kornada
[!0.987]2011-08-12

I need robots fighting each other for public relations. Why didn't your plan work?

My most humble apologies, master Kornada.

If you were to allow me to restore my Commnet connection…

No.

It is possible there was outside interference.

Blaming others for your mistakes? Where did you pick up a habit like that?

Color by George Peterson

Clippy spots a wolf and tells Mr. Kornada
[!0.987]2011-08-15

Another dog monster? There must be thousands of those things.

Shall I reschedule, master Kornada?

The neural pruning program is scheduled to be released Friday at midnight and I'm not going to let reality upset my schedule. Now, explain to me again how this is going to make me rich.

And this time, do it so I can understand what you're talking about.

Yes, sir. I'll go get the crayons.

Color by George Peterson

Clippy spots a wolf and tells Mr. Kornada
[!0.987]2011-08-17

Remember when you discovered that robots have bank accounts?

Yes. I was struck by the unfairness that others should have their money and I don't.

You gave me a direct order to find a way to transfer the robots wealth to you.

I am the most deserving because I thought of it first.

And the path to that lies in what happens to a robot's wealth after it stops functioning.

Workers are so much more expendable when there are no heirs around to complicate things.

Color by George Peterson

Clippy spots a wolf and tells Mr. Kornada
[!0.987]2011-08-19

Master Kornada. Are you sure we should be doing this?

Clippy, how many robots is my one human life worth?

Why, all of them, sir!

Of course! It's obvious now! We shall proceed. Thank you, sir!

This is why you're isolated. To protect you from confusion should you hear other humans stating my worth.

Color by George Peterson

The robot is named after the nickname of the paper clip in Microsoft Office software.

Clippy spots a wolf and tells Mr. Kornada
[!0.987]2011-08-22

The majority of robots are owned by Ecosystems Unlimited. I can not transfer their money directly to you.

This is where you lost me last time.

Most bank accounts have left the beneficiary on the default setting of Ecosystems Unlimited. A large corporation with different divisions. Each with their own stock. Water management. Asteroid mining. Motor production. Etc.

When the neural pruning program takes effect, the money goes back to Ecosystems Unlimited. I will control where the money goes and when.

If this plan does go wrong, I can truthfully say I did not understand what you were doing.

Color by George Peterson

Clippy spots a wolf and tells Mr. Kornada
[!0.987]2011-08-24

By the time the oscillations in the stock market stabilize, and after fees and taxes, you will own seven percent of the planet's wealth.

Seven percent? Is that all?

Master Kornada. That is an awful lot of money.

Can't we get the other 93 percent?

Sir, it's one thing to kill the goose that lays the golden eggs. It's quite another to nuke the entire farm.

Color by George Peterson

Clippy spots a wolf and tells Mr. Kornada
[!0.987]2011-08-26

Your schedule for today, sir. Mr. Raibert has requested a meeting with you at ten and you need a new keycard as the technicians have locked out your office again.

Mr. Raibert. He's a busy man. This might be about the last night's tiny robot incident. It may be prudent to take some precautions.

Are you in trouble, sir?

No, Clippy. Mr Raibert has too much on his own plate to look too deeply at mine. I shall play dumb and run him out of time.

A part I'm sure you shall play excellently, sir.

Color by George Peterson

Off to see Mr. Raibert
[!0.987]2011-08-29

There. that's everything I know about the “gardener in the dark” neural pruning program. Encrypt.

I need to mark this. Something obvious so I know this is the one I've disabled communications on.

I know I'm tired. If I pick up the wrong data slab, start taking notes, and wipe out the entire robot population of the planet, saying “Oops!” just isn't going to cut it.

Color by George Peterson

Off to see Mr. Raibert
[!0.987]2011-08-31

That's good. Marked clearly with yellow tape and a strong scent that humans can't smell.

I never know how to describe that. Invisible odor? Infrascent? You can't shift the frequency into the human range like sight or sound, and a Fourier transform doesn't work on smell.

Sometimes I think people invent new forms of math simply because it's the only way to show other people what you're thinking about.

Color by George Peterson