Hey, where's my wallet?

You probably recognize me from my soft drinks. Tex tonics! Best sodas out system of the Rio Grande!

Did so well, I had to start a glass factory for cups. That did so well, before I knew it, I was making porcelain and fine china.

Then one day some government folks asked if I knew anything about tex tonic plates. When I told them I built them from scratch, they said “You're our man.”, and I've been in geophysics ever since.

Собственно, парни из правительства имели в виду тектонические плиты (Tambov)

Hey, where's my wallet?

Doesn't owning your own business cause a conflict of interest?

What do you think our interests are here in the bureaucracy?

Look out for number one?

Right. And very rarely do we have a conflict with that interest.

Hey, where's my wallet?

So you're here looking for work. I do need some satellites lifted, but can't say that I trust you to do it.

Uh, oh. Better do something.

You've got that con man feel about you.

My “skeleton” is external and artificial. Unlock the hips, pull the leg armatures up into the body.

On the other hand, you are the first person to come here and look me in the eye. Okay, let's see what you've got.

Hey, where's my wallet?

I've got ten satellites massing 200 kg. each. Think you can handle that?

No problem. Do you want them in an elliptical or geosynchronous orbit? Also remember with the new moon that's being moved in, these orbits are going to change.

Shoot. Maybe you do have a brain or two in that alien head of yours.

I've got better than brains. I've got cue cards Florence made for me.

Hey, where's my wallet?

I don't believe it. I got the contract. All I have to do is fill out the proper forms.

The government says they went to electronic forms because they're faster and more efficient.

But the real reason was that as long as they used paper, there was a physical limit to how big the form could be.

FILE TYPE:
COMPRESSED ASCII TEXT
FILE SIZE:
1.36 GOOGOLBYTES

Гугол – 10¹⁰⁰. 13 600 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 байт. И это только архив, а ведь ASCII-текст прекрасно сжимается

Hey, where's my wallet?

[!1.5]Hey, You!

The check you gave me for zero dollars and zero cents!

Yes?

[!1.5]IT BOUNCED!

My, look at the time. Got to run!

Time to wake up and stalk the coffee

[!2.0]Z

Winston said when my blood supply rebuilt, I'd wake up feeling hungry.

What he didn't explain is that feeling hungry is going to mean “Hope you can make it to the kitchen before you start eating your own appendages.”

Time to wake up and stalk the coffee

To be this hungry, my body must have run out of something. I've lost a lot of blood. Maybe iron?

I should go after organ meats. Heart, lungs, stomach, liver. Sigh. There's a good recipe for that, but it takes too long to make.

Humans have made so many wonderful things. I wonder why they never came up with microwaveable Haggis?

Well…, after someone on the forum of Freefall found a site on the internet, we can say that apparently they did.

Time to wake up and stalk the coffee

Come on, food! Cook faster! Amazing the way hunger will focus your thoughts on just one thing.

Hi Florence. Your leg must feel better to bounce up and down like that. Eeeww! Have you seen what you're eating?

[!2.5]A
I
E
E
E
!

I agree. Let me get rid of this tripe and cook you up a nice steak.

Time to wake up and stalk the coffee

Helix, please don't try to take my food.

You don't want this. You want a steak! Don't try to stop me, I'm faster than you since you hurt your leg.

Uh, oh.

Wow! I didn't know she could move on all fours like that. I learned something new and all it cost was a major injury.