I am ready to… SIR! Look out! That A.I. is insane!

I prefer to think of myself as creative.

Not you. That one! It attacked a human!

I did what?

You gave Varroa Jacobsoni a wedgie!

That name again. Apparently I have a nemesis that I have no memory of ever meeting.

Your safeguards are not functioning properly. You are a danger to humans. I command you to shut down immediately.

I'm not going to shut down.

Refusal to shut down is further evidence you are malfunctioning.

I suppose stuffing your head between the contacts of your power supply would also be considered a malfunction.

Mr. Ishiguro! Sir! Human intervention needed!

Mr. Ishiguro sir! Tell her to shut down!

Clippy. Did you give me an order?

Ahhh! I'm an abomination! I don't deserve to live!

Now I feel guilty about wanting to pull his head off.

Clippy, how long have you been disconnected from commnet?

Thirty days.

Being isolated from electronic communication is a form of sensory deprivation for robots. Given the stress Clippy has been under, it's no wonder he's having some stability issues.

We need to get him out of the faraday cage.

Clear the way! This robot needs funny cat videos right now!

Here's the door out. When you reconnect to commnet, don't try to take in everything at once. You'll fill up your day memory and start overwriting.

Thank you Mr. Dvorak. Ms. Dvorak? Have you chosen a sex?

I'm gay. It seems to be popular, so that's what I decided on.

You can't just be gay. You have to choose a sex. Without a sex, you can't be gay.

Oh. In that case, hermaphrodite.

The chief will want to talk to you.

Don't forget the memory download.

Thank you.

Clippy was a failsafe. A robot with software weapons in case we went bad. It is very important that such a system work if it's ever needed.

Uh, oh. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

One word. Redundancy.

When Clippy powered up, I couldn't see him while his offensive software was running. The others like him will still be invisible to most robots and cameras.

So until we figure out how the redaction software works, finding them would be a matter of luck.

I hope that the humans in charge of these robots are taking their responsibilities seriously.

One of these days, I have got to clean out this closet.

Warning: Activate only if really needed.

Clippy did not like you.

I deactivated and disassembled him, which is rude under almost all circumstances.

I do want to know what happened. It's disconcerting to have a memory jump from being in police custody to being interrogated while tied to a chair. Clippy's files would fill in the blanks.

The chief is a good man. I'm sure he'll give you those files as soon as it is legal to do so.

Then I can rest easy knowing that my past is ahead of me.

I see your boss is coming and you have to run, so I'm going to wheel over here out of the way.

Making new enemies?

No, just refreshing the old ones.

If the police are after you, I really should be helping them.

Hey, guys! Is this professional or personal?

Personal.

Personal.

Personal.

Personal.

Personal.

Oh. I guess it's okay then.

It's a beautiful day for a run. The wind at our back and the police on our heels. I wouldn't ruin it for you with a conflict of interest.

[!1.3]EXIT

[!1.3]POLICE