I may just have to sit down and write 'Dudes! Lesbians! Guess What? Here is How to Get Women to Like You'. it is a great title for a book because it appeals to both dudes AND lesbians.

C-can you tell them that - that t-rex sent you?

I sit really quietly, and when they try to talk to me i play 'in the hall of the mountain king' on a synthesizer that only synthesizes the screams of children

This comic is based on a story where I was talking with a guy and the guy said 'ryan you sure do use a lot of exclamation marks' and I said 'we're talking! how can you tell if I'm using them or not?' and hold on wait this story's no good

You offend a regular person it's okay, but then you offend a sexy person and everyone's all YOU'RE CRAZY

Determinism: seriously guys, let's never talk about it again!

An orbital tower is an elevator that goes straight up into SPACE. i believe this is the first time it has been suggested that one could jump out of them onto giant trampolines. arthur c clarke called satellites but i call this!

My birthday wish is to have dinosaurs sing 80s hip hop in bad french! you probably have similar desires

You can use 'sexually attracted in reverse' to describe all sorts of things you don't like! for example, a mcdonalds fish sandwich is like being sexually attracted in reverse.

You'd think a dude with such good and practiced stomping skills would focus more on his feet than his fists, but sometimes all we can focus on is our weak points. THAT IS SOME DEEP AND MEANINGFUL STUFF RIGHT THERE DUDES AND LADIES