«Welp» is like when you say «well», but with that bit of a cut-off at the end as you press your lips together. i wish there was a better way to write that word, you'd know it if you heard it, it's an UNRELEASED VOICELESS BILABIAL PLOSIVE

I do however speak beard, and yours my friend says pure class

HEY FUTURE T-REX, IT'S ME, EVEN MORE FUTURE T-REX WHO WAS SENT TO THE PAST! LISTEN, NOBODY HERE IS INTO COLD CHICKS

One cuss allowed for every successful use of this most excellent of tenses, and it is a real tense too, you could be using it RIGHT NOW if you but dared

And ethyl butyrate!

This happened to me this week and if i'd broken my neck and died, i would've died in a ridiculous hotel steps away from a ridiculous hot tub. my epitaph would've been «GUYS LET'S ALL IGNORE THE LAST 10 MINUTES OF HIS LIFE, OKAY??» um, that may well still be my epitaph, actually

Please don't actually use this card to propose marriage, i, ryan north, internet cartoonist guy, am begging you

Selkirk was inspiration for Robinson Crusoe, the phrase «monarch of all I survey», AND a webcomic about talking dinosaurs

Words not in my spell-check that are now in my spell-check, thanks to this comic: «assingest»

I have to WIN