To teach a thief
[!0.987]2018-09-05

You're under arrest. You're under arrest. And you, you're under arrest.

That's a tomato.

It's still under arrest.

You can't arrest everything in sight if we hope to remain undercover.

We've been made? Error! Run away!

You're still welcome if you want to learn more.

Thank you. I told Officer Green not to overclock. It always makes him jumpy.

Color by George Peterson

To teach a thief
[!0.987]2018-09-07

We were uncovered as undercover officers. My partner left to archive his data. He requested back up.

How did you get spotted?

My partner tried to arrest everything in sight.

So, what have you learned?

Do not let your partner arrest people if you want to remain undercover?

See, that's the type of thing you want to experience here. Normally if you blow your cover, you don't get a do-over.

Color by George Peterson

Crime at it's most basic level
[!0.987]2018-09-10

Let's get started. A life form spends all summer gathering resources. At the end of summer, another life form comes and takes it all. What do we call the one who takes everything?

A thief?

No. A farmer. Your first lesson. Animals can only survive by taking what others have gathered.

This is why theft is so hard to eliminate. It's not aberrant behavior. It's survival strategy that's baked right into the most primal level of our D.N.A.

Color by George Peterson

Crime at it's most basic level
[!0.987]2018-09-12

Despite what they say, humans appreciate a good theft. Many legends have their ascent start with the theft of fire from the gods.

Humans also like things to be predictable. They are, at their core, creatures of order.

And that's what civilization is. A complex set of rules detailing who is allowed to steal from who.

You're welcome!

Color by George Peterson

Crime at it's most basic level
[!0.987]2018-09-14

The golden rule. As observed in the Kingdom of Id, whoever has the gold makes the rules. Rules made by the rich are not always fair to everyone.

Niccolo Machiavelli said that if men do not have legal means to redress their injuries, they will resort to illegal ones.

This is where we come in.

[!0.9]R I G H T

U S

W R O N G

Color by George Peterson

Золотое правило нравственности - “Относись к другим так, как хочешь, чтобы относились к тебе.”
“У кого золото, тот и придумывает правила” - шутка, растиражированная комиксом The Wizard of ID в выпуске от 3 мая 1965 года газеты “The Dallas Morning News”.

Crime at it's most basic level
[!0.987]2018-09-17

We have your first assignment. Woman with a new baby. Delivery of two salads.

I will accompany you so that you do not get robbed while in the commission of a crime.

How do you know when you should break the law?

When systems evolve that crush the spirit! When the law is corrupt! When people cry out for justice!

But mostly, when it's fun.

Color by George Peterson

Crime at it's most basic level
[!0.987]2018-09-19

I used to wash castings in a foundry. People call me Soapy Smith.

Officer Red. It looks like we shall be learning police/criminal interaction together.

Should I post my crimes in advance to avoid confusion?

Thank you but the chief wishes us to work on our detective skills.

How about if I post them as spoilers that you have to click through?

That would be acceptable.

Color by George Peterson

Crime at it's most basic level
[!0.987]2018-09-21

Thank you, I've been so busy with the new baby.

You are welcome. It is our duty and pleasure to serve.

Crime complete. I am ready to be arrested.

The cost of the arrest and processing would exceed the cost of the crime.

We could run a tally until I accumulate enough disobedience to perform a cost effective arrest.

Good idea but let me check the database. It is possible there is a previous situation similar to ours.

Color by George Peterson

Crime at it's most basic level
[!0.987]2018-09-24

Found. The course of action for a minor civil infraction is a fine.

Fines could move my job into a negative income range.

We could start a media channel. Then use the revenue for fines. If you are a popular enough criminal, it could be a source of income.

People will pay to watch me commit crimes?

I believe they will.

Huh. Who'd have ever thought crime could be monetized.

Color by George Peterson

You always lose the ones you hate
[!0.987]2018-09-26

Are we really going to an asteroid?

Yes and I'm a bit worried.

Here, I help local products move off store shelves. I provide exercise to angry mobs. Even the rumor that I'm leaving has spawned a line of “Don't come back” cards, boosting the local economy.

I don't know how this place is going to get along without me.

Color by George Peterson