Sam the card flounder

Hey! Hey! Get out of there! No Dumpster dining!

I am NOT[/] dumpster dining!

Try saying that again when your mouth isn't full.

Sam the card flounder

Sam, you're the lowest, most despicable,…

Look out! Litigators coming through! Firestone announced a recall! We're off to sue them!

My client looked at a Firestone tire and walked into a wall. It must be their fault.

We encourage companies to be honest by suing the heck out of them any time they admit culpability.

Ah, heck with it, Sam. Take off and try to stay out of trouble.

I actually like lawyers. It's nice that humans have a subspecies that makes me look good by comparison.

Sam the card flounder

There are a lot of maintenance tunnels under this spaceport. I could stay down here for weeks.

With so many people here, there's bound to be some I've done business with. Since I stand out in a crowd, it's best if I avoid the more populated areas of the shelter.

That's the problem with my having a recognizable face. There are too many people around who'd like to change that.

Sam the card flounder

Hi, Sam! I didn't see you upstairs, so I came looking for you.

Hi, Helix. How did you find me so fast?

With so many people here, I figured you must be hiding. You're good at hiding, so I knew you'd pick a spot I'd never think of.

So I took a map of the spaceport and filled in every place I could think of. Then I went to the spot that wasn't filled in and here you are.

Helix, why is it every time you think, it's my head that hurts?

Sam the card flounder

What's up, Helix?

Qwerty and Dvorak wanted to see you again.

I'm just a popular guy. Anyone else?

[!1.5]WHERE'S MY MONEY, SAM?

Oh, yes. Sawtooth wanted to see you again too.

Sam the card flounder

[!1.5]WHERE'S MY MONEY, SAM?

What are you talking about? Florence paid you! I don't owe you any money!

You don't? Hey, that's right, you don't!

Sorry, Sam. I've gotten so used to asking you for my money back, that subroutine has kind of taken on a life of it's own.

It's okay. Other than cracked ribs and a few internal injuries, no harm done.

Вообще-то у Сэма (спойлер: нет рёбер.) (KALDYH)

Sam the card flounder

Where is Florence? She's not on your ship.

That is a long story.

Checking around. No one seems to have seen her. She hasn't checked in with the emergency shelter either.

[!1.2]Where's the nice doggy, Sam?

Don't you love it when you find a new use for an old subroutine?

It's one of the simple joys of life.

Sam the card flounder

Florence is still out in the hurricane. She's there because this wingnut and his buddy took over my ship!

We didn't have a choice! Sam had just turned down a large sum of money and was risking himself and his ship in an effort to rescue her!

Sam, you're a scoundrel, but you've always been a PREDICTABLE scoundrel. Please, tell me you didn't do these things!

I'm sorry, but what he's saying is true. This storm has taken its toll on all of us.

Sam the card flounder

Thanks for the download. Things make more sense now.

What I can't understand is why she did it.

Florence knew the building was collapsing, but she went back for Qwerty anyway. Why would anyone risk themselves for a stupid robot?

This is how I know I'll be a great starship commander. When I speak, everyone else stops and looks at me.

Sam the card flounder

What do you mean it's not worth risking yourself for a robot?

Because you guys can make back up copies of yourself!

Something happens to you, they take the back ups and download you into a new body. In less than an hour, you're on line again.

Qwerty and I don't have any back ups.

Really? No problem! I have a friend who can back you up cheap. Won't you rest easier knowing that all your memories, like account numbers and passwords, are safe in my hands?