Sam the card flounder

Before you hang up, Florence, can I have a few words with you in private?

No. What you can say in front of her, you can say in front of me.

I want to speak privately to her. The law says I can.

What law?

The law of superior tonnage.

Ah, who wants to listen to you anyway?

Sam the card flounder

Friends, I know you're in my debt for saving your lives. But if you give me 10,000 Credits, I'm willing to call us even.

Sam, mere money could never adequately express our feelings for you.

How true.

This calls for The Robot Wedgie Of Appreciation!

No. Really. Money will be fine.

Ну не знаю я как перевести wedgie. To give smb. a wedgie – схватить кого-л. за брюки или трусы сзади и резким движением подтянуть их вверх так, чтобы они врезались между ягодиц (в качестве шутки над кем-л.). Но для комикса это слишком громоздко и длинно. Можно конечно сказать “попорез” (или ещё резче), но это уже каждому решать самостоятельно. Я останусь на своём первоначальном варианте, тем более, что по рисунку дергают не за штаны, а за нижнее бельё

Sam the card flounder

Hold on. Helix, is there such a thing as a robot wedgie of appreciation?

Helix, you know you can't lie to me.

I'm sure Qwerty and Dvorak appreciate this chance to give you a wedgie.

Okay, then. For a moment, I thought you guys were trying to pull one over on me.

We could never do that, Sam. There's not enough slack.

Sam the card flounder

Florence, I've only known you for a little while, but I no longer think of you as a doggy. I'm starting to think of you as a person.

My question is this. Did the actions of the other robots cause you to get hurt?

Oh, my. You just set your medical records to confidential. Now outsiders like me won't be able to access them.

Yes, Sawtooth. Thank you very much for that reminder.

Sam the card flounder

Florence says she'll be fine once she gets some rest. You two are never going to know all she's done for you.

When she gets back, You guys should give her the robot wedgie of appreciation.

Did I miss something I would have liked to see?

No worries. Sam, can we show our appreciation for you once again?

No way! If Sawtooth wants to see this, I'm sure other people do, too. Wait until Helix gets back with the camera.

Sam the card flounder

Thanks again for giving me the wedgie. Here are some beautiful color copies of the photo commemorating the event. Suitable for framing and expected to be real valuable in about fifteen minutes.

He's up to something. Sam is always up to something.

I bet he has some sort of devious master plan.

What sort of devious master plan do you have, Sam?

None at all. But don't worry, Helix. They'll think of something.

Хеликс, не будь дятлом, сообщи им это по коммуникации (Robot Spike)
Хеликс любит Сэма, зачем же он будет специально делать ему гадости? (ANDRoidFox)

Sam the card flounder

What sort of devious master plan do you think Sam has?

Hard to say. He may not even have a plan.

But by making us think he has one, we'll try to figure out what he's up to and come up with a devious master plan for him.

Which I must admit, really is a pretty devious master plan.

Sam the card flounder

I bet you're right. Sam knows we're smarter than he is. This has a very easy solution.

All we have to do is not think of a devious master plan for Sam.

[!1.3]DOH!

You didn't.

Oh, come on! It's like being told not to think of a rhinoceros with a teacup.

Sam the card flounder

Florence convinced Sam to come get us. Now she's at the vet's, but at least thinks we're grateful for the rescue.

If she sees the photo of us giving Sam the wedgie, it looks like we're not grateful. She may even think Sam was right. Instead of Florence making Sam more like her, we may be helping Sam make Florence more like him.

That IS a devious plan. Have you ever considered becoming a criminal mastermind?

Never seriously, but I did complete the correspondence course.

Sam the card flounder

Sam, we want the photos. All of them.

Good decision, since it involves me getting money.

Now let's talk about price. I think 10,000 Credits is reasonable.

Forty credits and we don't pour salt down your pants.

Deal.

Этот кальмар явно соль не выносит (Robot Spike)