This is Dvorak. He's here to help.
How convenient. My name is Nickel and I need help.
Not exactly, but I should be able to tinker you a new set of legs. Or perhaps something even better.
Like a jet pack. A NUCLEAR JET PACK! OR A SLED PULLED BY CARNIVOROUS WAFFLE IRONS!
I had no idea my manufacturer had so many recommended replacement options.