Things seemed to be going pretty good for me until I realized today's adults were just yesterdays stale babies

Wait wait wait, if OUR climate change warms up the planet with CO2, and a giant asteroid cools DOWN the planet and makes everything freeze… GUYS, I THINK I JUST CAME UP WITH THE PERFECT SOLUTION??

Turns out his full name is «fitzwilliam darcy». i mean his full alias. his full alias that he uses in the books so that nobody will discover he can shoot knives out of his eyes but only when he really wants it

The trials of the flesh include Why I Gotta Sleep All The Time; Food Makes Me Happy But If I Eat Too Much Ill Die, So What The Heck; and How Come I Cant Fully Control When Toots Come Out, This Is A Problem And People Are Starting To Talk

Should you find yourself in similar circumstances, Dromiceiomimuss line in panel six can easily be deployed in real life with only slight modifications on the name: my gift to you

What does L.E.A.R. stand for? ah, thats a story for another time (im just kidding, its a story for right now, it stands for «Logically Evil Automatic Robotman»)

Sorry history buffs but everything you like is suckier versions of the stuff we have here in the present, and again, i must say that im very sorry to own you so early in the morning

DONT TELL ME A ROOMBA IS A ROBOT AND SO THEREFORE WE HAVE ROBOTS, for gods sake we live in a world where people call two-wheeled land-based scooters «hoverboards», STOP LOWERING OUR EXPECTATIONS

Earlier: «wow, that guy looks a lot like einstein! hah! almost like einstein travelled from his time forward to our present! hah hah! HEY WAIT A MINUTE»

So all cool teens know «wtf» stands for «what the fuck», but my good friend thought «ftw» stood for «fuck the what»!! this is now officially what it stands for and its the new best acronym ftw. ftaw.