Roses can be red / Violets are purple, not blue / Poem now haiku

Yes, I AM here to establish that the first animal to crawl out of the ocean was named «Fishy J. Bonkers»

Based on a true story / recurring diet fantasy

Apollo was like, damn, i keep getting owned on Earth. i don't know why i keep hanging out on a planet that's full of people who just own me so hard like fifty times i day. damn dude, i can't stop getting owned by mortals. damn

A horny scientist read T-Rex's book and was like, wow, now I'm frustrated in TWO distinct ways

Later on t-rex realized that parasites inside everyone's bodies counted as animals too, and his short story got EVEN SHORTER

The best part is decoy units will always be a thing, because it's always be cheaper to build a fake-ass tank than to build an actual working tank! yes, they'll truly be with us forever, UNLIKE YOUR CONTINUALLY AGING BODY

«if you have your characters point out how erotic everything is, the reader can't HELP but notice.» - the T-Rex School of Erotica Writing

TELL ME THIS ISN'T AN IMPROVEMENT: «My learned opponent's proposed changes to our health care system will - whether by design or by accident - have the effect of dismantling the most important and cherished parts of our social safety net, and are easily revealed as part of a system of creeping normality, like the tears of my enemies gradually filling all the mason jars in my house».

In the distant past there's the generation that LITERALLY INVENTED THE WHEEL going «really? greatest? wow that's a WHEELY great surprise» (they also invented puns) (sarcasm too! i'm telling you: they were terrific)