I would be a better plumber than electrician because i make small mistakes all the time and the consequences of a plumbing mistake are «got wet» while the consequences of an electrical mistake are «electrocuted and dead now».

I really did sincerely ruin myself on expensive chocolate. i never bought it for myself but others bought it for me a few times and now look at me. LOOK AT ME. i have opinions on how much chili pepper is the proper amount to be paired with chocolate truffles, I'M RUINED

…Okay that's a lie but come on it sounds AMAZING

Yarrr… «t-rex»? that be a name i haven't heard in many a fine sea-year

Don't try to guess the fruit (vegetable??) - i made it up! though it is based on a time I asked for five chicken BREASTS and got five chicken NECKS, and had no idea what to do with all them necks

Sorry, that was small of me. i'll try to be the bigger man. i'm sure these length puns won't go on for much LONGER

It's sentence count per panel SORRY, IT'S SENTENCE COUNT PER PANEL, I TRIED TO WRITE ONE BASED ON WORD COUNT FOR YEARS AND IT'S TOO ANNOYING AND STUPID AND ALSO: HARD

And if you do it in French I'll kinda get the gist of it

This is based on my dog kita, who we got as a puppy when i was young. we'd heard a mirror would be good for puppies who missed their littermates, so we set one up on a lean, and it was ADORABLE as he kept trying to look behind it. and then less adorable when we realized he would never look in a mirror again for the rest of his life??

I regret to inform you that I actually regret nothing