Sorry for calling prose «baby books», prose writers. i look forward to your thousand tear-stained words on the matter

Free nights where you wake up at 3am obsessively going over all those free regrets you got, for even in your own mind you will find no escape

I didn't truly understand jocks until the day I realized that wearing your favourite team's jersey… is really just entry-level cosplay

My friend has made a fantasy soccer team and she chose her team members based solely on their sheer hunkiness, and so far her team is SOUNDLY beating my other friend's team

Look, all i'm saying is, how do we know pavement ISN'T a food

There are a lot of stakeholders in my photographs of the cheese sandwiches i eat for lunch, and i refuse to let them down

Certain kinds of death can be temporarily postponed with our cereal, and we are willing to sell some of it

FUN FACT: i wrote this comic FULLY SIX YEARS AGO, a month before hallowe'en, but then forgot to put it up for hallowe'en. and then EVERY YEAR i'd remember it in like, april, but then forget again come october. anyway yes, hello, my name is ryan and i am a professional comic writer guy

Seriously, slap LITERALLY ANY FLAVOUR on some chips, put those chips in a bag, and write «CHIPS FLAVOURED LIKE OUR BEST GUESS AT WHAT DINOSAUR FLESH TASTES LIKE» on the outside of that bag, and this is how many bags of chips you will sell: every single one, holy crap. my mouth is READY

Vegetables: the «nice body, shame if anything happened to it» of the food world?? this unsourced talking dinosaur webcomic says: yeah, probably