I rewrote this comic because it originally said «talking to party strangers on the regular» and I gotta admit, the phrase «party strangers» is SUPER-DUPER enticing

Dude you need to make your email easier to find. i am not a creeper I PROMISE

BASED ON A TRUE STORY??

Bears in the woods don't worry about who friends them on facebook AND they can poop wherever they want. bears in the woods have the right friggin' idea

Wait, there's a maze at the exit?? THERE'S A MAZE?? THAT'S AMAZING, I'D HEARD THE FRIEND ZONE WAS HARD TO GET OUT OF BUT I NEVER DREAMED IT'D BE FOR SUCH AN AWESOME REASON

«Hey let's evolve on a planet where for several months at a time you can freeze to death if you go outside, that'll never come back to bite us!!» - ALL KNOWN LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

If you want to be a pick up artist then you've got to have game! SO HERE ARE THE RULES OF THE GAME: thinking about the game means you've lost the game, and must be announced each time it occurs. son, you've just lost your game.

Specifically, my shoe bill

It's 332393. 332393 plays «go go power rangers» on a touchtone phone. i discovered this when i was a kid through sheer brute force and committed it indelibly to my memory. oh also «o canada» is 39912369#2. found that one out myself too. if i meet you at a party and you tell me your name, odds are i will have forgotten it less than sixty seconds later.

ANSWER KEY: Come Take a Trip in My Air-Ship (#1 Jan 1905, 9 weeks), It's a Long, Long Way to Tipperary (#1 Jan 1915, 13 weeks), Makin' Whoopee (ASCAP Song of 1929), Toot Toot Tootsie Goodbye (#1 Dec 1922, 10 weeks), Smoke Gets in Your Eyes (#1 Dec 1933, 15 weeks), That Old Black Magic (#1 Mar 1943, 14 weeks), A Little Bird Told Me (#1 Nov 1948, 21 weeks), Goodnight Irene (#1 Jul 1950, 25 weeks), These Boots Are Made For Walking (#1 Jan 1966, 14 weeks), Kung Fu Fighting (#1 Oct 1974, 18 weeks), Stayin' Alive (#1 Dec 1977, 26 weeks), Killing Me Softly With His Song (#1 Jan 1973, 16 weeks), Tainted Love (oh crap whoops this song only hit #8 in the US but DID spend a record-breaking 43 weeks on the Hot 100 so I'M GIVING IT A PASS, also thanks for reading this far), I Want to Know What Love Is (#1 Dec 1985, 20 weeks), Un-Break My Heart (#1 Oct 1996, 42 weeks), My Heart Will Go On (#1 Feb 1998, 20 weeks), I'm Too Sexy (#1 Dec 1991, 20 weeks).