Entropy decreasing in a closed system is the only miracle we need

This is known as «T-Rex's Law» only if you check Wikipedia it'll credit it to the real-life Professor J. E. Littlewood of Cambridge University instead of a fictional character which PROBABLY is fair

Every time i accidentally crush an egg while trying to take it out of the carton, i feel a deep kinship with superman

There's no shame in putting a buffet out of business. that my friends is a LIFE GOAL; doing it without dropping a barf is just a times two multiplier

On The Practical And Useful Art Of Tripping Balls

AN EASY FIX: i recommend shouting «I HOPE YOU'RE TAKING NOTES!!» while looking wildly around the room

REAL ANSWER: wear a t-shirt that says «SO IS THIS A DATE OR WHAT» under a jacket, gradually unbutton the jacket during the meal, raise one eyebrow

Don't get me started about the P.A.L.E.O. diet

To retweet: perhaps to favourite: ay, there's the rub; / For with that retweet what replies may come / To us, even though we weren't the dude that wrote it / Must give us pause

Some men program websites