The inspector cometh

I haven't seen Sam, and I've only heard the ship's computer. That could be Sam using the ship's intercom system.

Computer, if I were to give you fifty credits and ask for change, what would you give me back? Change must contain a twenty, tens, fives, and ones.

Twenty, two tens, five, five ones. Twenty, ten, three fives, five ones. Twenty, ten, two fives, ten ones. Twenty, ten, five, fifteen ones.

That's not Sam. In each case, the change actually adds up to fifty.

The inspector cometh

This is the ship's current status. The starboard fusion reactor is down hard. I can't repair that without specialized parts and equipment.

Then you fail. I can't certify you without two working reactors.

Actually, you can.

Sam's engineer is going to try to con me. Good. I was beginning to wonder if I was on the right ship.

The inspector cometh

At the moment, we don't meet the requirements for an in system service craft. We DO meet the requirements for an orbital shuttle.

If we use the magnetic accelerator launch system, we only need one engine and a back up power source sufficient to land. That is well within our storage capacity.

She's right. That works. I knew this inspection was going to be dangerous, but I never expected anything so dangerous as having to say Sam's ship is ready to fly.

The inspector cometh

Something's funny about all this. Okay, Occam's Razor states that the simplest solution is the most likely. So what are the facts?

The ship's been properly repaired and documented. There's no con games going on. Sam is nowhere to be seen. And the creature showing me about is obviously some type of large carnivore.

Sometimes Occam's Razor leads to very disturbing conclusions.

The inspector cometh

I never thought I'd say this, but I want to see Sam.

Captain, please come to the control room.

Hey! Inspector! Good to see you again!

Sam is alive! I don't know whether to feel relieved or disappointed.

Did you know that your wallet is missing?

Disappointed. Definitely disappointed.

The inspector cometh

Thank you for passing my ship.

Let go of me! You haven't passed yet!

The computer records are… acceptable. Now I want to see the actual repair work.

It will pass.

Sam, do I have to remind you again that equipment which explodes or catches on fire when turned on is NOT properly repaired?

The inspector cometh

Are you still mad about what happened last time you were here?

Yes.

It wasn't my fault! The whole thing occurred because of a pre-existing human design flaw.

If you ask me, any species that naturally produces a flammable growth on top of its head is begging for trouble.

The inspector cometh

The wire run was burned. All this has been replaced.

These pipes had fractured. They've been replaced.

This motor has also been replaced.

Too bad the thing that really needs replacing is still here.

The inspector cometh

As an orbital shuttle, I haven't found anything to disqualify this ship. But I'm not going to pass you. Do you know why?

Because you don't want to be known as the man who got Sam Starfall off the planet?

Inspection results of ship 1071-CCN. Pass.

The inspector cometh

All I'm required to inspect is the ship. Still, something is not right here.

You've got new materials in here. Contractors worked for you and got paid. The ship's computer is on. I really should investigate further.

But that would mean spending more time with you than I absolutely have to. Frankly, I'd rather be dipped in bees. Good bye.