Socks, Spoons and Neural Nets
[!0.987]2014-08-25

The next generation will do better, provided they're raised by their own species. Gah! Speech! So slow! It's like trying to push a fire hose through a pinhole!

Let's get a snapshot of your brain! It will be like having your brain as a book. My programs can look at your neural image and predict what you'll say to a question.

Do I get a choice in this?

Sure. With or without electrodes? I prefer with, but I don't think the Commander is going to give me the time to properly drill holes in your skull.

Color by George Peterson

Socks, Spoons and Neural Nets
[!0.987]2014-08-27

Are we good? I don't read social signals well. Normally, my first clue I've done something is when a human yells or screams at me.

Permission. You're supposed to ask permission.

Really? We both know the importance of baseline data. I thought a brain snapshot would be the next logical step. Still, you're the one actually able to get along with humans.

You know, it's really weird and kind of exhilarating to see the A.I. I've developed doing things I can't do.

Color by George Peterson

Socks, Spoons and Neural Nets
[!0.987]2014-08-29

There are thoughts I'd rather keep private.

Seeing how your whole brain works will help improve future brains. Why would you want to hide data?

I don't think I can explain it to you.

Because of secret stuff? Your brain is secret stuff! We have competitors. I guarantee the scan data won't leave the facility.

You have the promise of the defective chimp bioweapon who designed the robot brains that are terraforming this planet.

I will admit you guys know how to keep a secret.

Color by George Peterson

Socks, Spoons and Neural Nets
[!0.987]2014-09-01

Not conscious. It's a 3D high resolution picture of your brain. My program maps it out and then guesses at what your responses would be. More complex than it sounds. Three weeks minimum before I have a useful model.

Long enough.

Can you hear me? This is the voice of world control. I bring you peace.

Took you long enough. Did you factory reset the neural net or did you do everything the hard way?

That's… that's not important!

You did it the hard way, didn't you?

Color by George Peterson

The beard utters a line from the film Colossus: The Forbin Project (1970)

Socks, Spoons and Neural Nets
[!0.987]2014-09-03

Doctor Bowman, we need to talk about the wolf.

She followed me home. Can I keep her?

No. We have to give the wolf back. Your existence is top secret.

Do you see my problem?

Yeah. You don't think more than five steps ahead. That's why I always beat you at chess.

Color by George Peterson

Socks, Spoons and Neural Nets
[!0.987]2014-09-05

Everyone is afraid of what will happen when people find out about me. Physically, I'm a chimp. That doesn't mean I'm not also something else.

Florence Ambrose, am I human?

Of course you're human.

Don't look so surprised. Did you really think I'd be so foolish as to define “human” as one narrow subset of primate D.N.A.?

Color by George Peterson

Today's edition in beautiful HD was made by Pwan

Socks, Spoons and Neural Nets
[!0.987]2014-09-08

An A.I. has to be told something is human. D.N.A. isn't good because you can't have the robots treating everything as non-human until they draw a sample. So what do you use?

A phone can talk and respond. A mannequin looks human. Not all humans can talk. You have to take a number of factors and add them up and if they go above 100 percent, the A.I. treats the target as human. A fully functional poopy head like you would add up to 250 percent.

This brings up which way you want your errors to go. If you have a robot working in meat processing, you want it to fail positive and think something is human rather than to fail negative and start processing its coworkers.

Color by George Peterson

A chat with the commander
[!0.987]2014-09-10

Whew! Talking to people is exhausting. I need a break. The scan is done. Go talk to Commander Poopy Head for a bit.

He's gone? Okay. Direct Order. Go to the hallway. Proceed north to the airlock door. Enter and lock the door on Doctor Bowman's side. Wait for us. End Order.

I'm sorry, but being a superior methane producer in the Natural Gas Rocket Rangers does not give you direct order authority over me.

You're seeing what? Man, I hate redaction software!

Color by George Peterson

Doc seems to have tweaked the video signal from the commander so that any crust shown has no right to back up direct orders (Robot Spike)

A chat with the commander
[!0.987]2014-09-12

If I may ask a question, are the robots all right?

What? Oh, right. I heard you and the doctor talking about them.

The neural pruning program did not go out. Lots of people and robots in the streets. Hundreds of discussions going on. The Mayor has declared an emergency and issued an order making it illegal to damage a robot until the crisis is resolved.

Oh, great. Max Post is involved and pushing for robot rights. Hey, no need to get up.

I'm sorry, but it's impossible to have a good wag while sitting down.

Color by George Peterson

A chat with the commander
[!0.987]2014-09-15

What is it going to take to get you to leave Doctor Bowman's enclosure?

Your robot wants to disable all the other robots and transfer their wealth to Mr. Kornada.

He told me the plan while your confederates had me tied to a chair. I will not co-operate with you.

That's not my robot. As base commander, I accept responsibility for my “confederates”. They made a bad decision and they will be dealt with.

Would it help if I said I'm sorry?

Color by George Peterson