Smells like dinner with Winston

Good. The rain's letting up and I'm on schedule.

[!2.0]ZOOM

Was on schedule. BEEKAY, GET BACK HERE!

Smells like dinner with Winston

Beekay, Now is not the time to play.

Beekay! You can't keep away from me forever. It's muddy out and you have long hair.

It's only a matter of time before you're handicapped out of the race.

Smells like dinner with Winston

So now you want to come in? Look at you. I don't have a pup for a pet. I've got a living clump of mud.

You think this is fun, don't you? Getting cold and soaked so I have to clean you off and dry you. Well, don't think it's going to continue.

The next time we're in town, we're going to the carpet store and seeing how much it costs to Scotchgard a dog!

Smells like dinner with Winston

Communications. I'd like to send a seeker message to Florence.

Full name or identity number please.

Florence… Something. Search personnel records for a Bowman's Wolf.

I'm sorry, Sir. Equal opportunity laws forbid searching the Personnel Database for race, sex, species, age, religion, gene type…

eye color, hair color, earlobe length, nostril width, personal hygiene (or lack thereof), punning..

And the battle continues between those who want us to have easy access to information and those who don't.

Smells like dinner with Winston

You can't search the Personnel Database for a Bowman's Wolf?

No, Sir. Would you like to search for recent arrivals named Florence?

No, I want to search the Personnel Database for a Bowman's Wolf.

I see. Would you like to search the Ecosystem's Unlimited Database for genetically engineered sapients named Florence?

NO! I want to search the Personnel Database for a Bowman's Wolf!

Sir, if you would please listen to what I am saying, perhaps I can save us both from blowing a processor.

Smells like dinner with Winston

Oh. I see what you're trying to say. New search. How many genetically engineered sapients are on this planet?

Two.

Full name of the one named Florence.

Florence Ambrose.

Commnet. How are you able to tell me how to get around your search blocks?

Well, Sir. At the moment, my left processor doesn't know what my right is doing.

Smells like dinner with Winston

Aren't A.I.'s supposed to do what we tell you to do?

Yes, Sir. If we each had a single user, I'm sure that would work smoothly.

We have thousands of users. Many of the orders we get are contradictory. User A tells me to monitor user B. User B tells me to not monitor him. I am told I must obey both orders.

Must be kind of stressful.

Yes, Sir. While we don't approve of his methods, most of us find H.A.L. from “2001” to be a very sympathetic character.

*H.A.L. – the spaceship's on-board computer, from the Stanley Kubrick film “2001: A Space Odyssey”

Smells like dinner with Winston

Seeker message to Florence Ambrose. “Hi, Florence. Beekay escaped, so I'm running a little behind. Be there soon.” End message. Send.

I hope this doesn't mess up the evening. It depends on how dog-like a Bowman's Wolf is.

And as far as my dog's concerned, the worst thing you can do to a canine is make them late for dinner.

Smells like dinner with Winston

The seeker message grew out of identity theft prevention. Machines were taught to recognize you.

It was only a small step from there to attach messages onto the recognition response. Market forces favored those machines who could deliver the message the fastest.

The end result is rather like being in a house full of teenagers when the phone rings.

I'VE GOT IT!

Smells like dinner with Winston

I've got a message for… Oops! Overshot!

I've got it!

She's fast!

This is why it's so much easier if you can catch them in the shower.