Hey, where's my wallet?

I'm done! Again!

Yep. You've finished and the agreement was that the loser pays for both meals.

So, what would you call two guys who were tricked into washing dishes not once, but three times.

Sounds like a couple of losers to me.

Gentlemen, your bills.

You are such a twit.

Ого, только сейчас понял, зачем Макс последнюю фразу сказал. Босс им ДВЕ пары счетов выставил, оба неудачники = проигравшие. Поели-то они наверняка с шиком. Круто развёл (Robot Spike)

Hey, where's my wallet?

That waiter scammed us good.

Yeah. Not only did he get us to wash the dishes, we each paid for both meals.

I gave him a big tip.

Same here. He definitely earned it.

Hey, where's my wallet?

We are going to be remembered at that restaurant forever.

That is exactly your problem.

You want to be noticed. You want to be remembered. A lawbreaker doesn't want to be noticed or remembered! You're pursuing mutually exclusive goals!

You don't have criminal tendencies, you've got managerial tendencies.

Hey, I'm not that bad!

Hey, where's my wallet?

Look, only a very small percentage of robots read religious texts. And those that do are very discreet about it.

You are not cut out for this kind of work. Good bye.

[!1.2]HEY! I CAN BE SUBTLE! I CAN BE DISCREET! WHY, IF I BECOME A SMUGGLER LIKE YOU, NO ONE WILL EVER SUSPECT!

Hey, where's my wallet?

[!1.2]I CAN BE SLY! I CAN BE SNEAKY!

All right, all right! I believe you!

Here's the address of a guy who needs a ship. Now go see him and stop following me.

I rarely leave an encounter empty handed, because so many people will give me something to go away.

Hey, where's my wallet?

This address is for the Department of Geophysics. I think that's part of the human government.

It's hard to tell, really. No human I asked knows exactly how big their government is. The only thing they agree on is that it wastes a lot of money.

Which is good, because in this case, the money is going to be wasted on me.

Hey, where's my wallet?

I've met humans who say their government has gotten too big and they need to cut it back.

We are the bureaucracy. Resistance is futile. Your assets will be assimilated. You, the taxpayer, exist to service us.

Personally, I think it's already too late.

Find public trough. Assimilate and spend.

Отсылка к сериалу “StarTrek”: “Мы – борг. Вы будете ассимилированы. Сопротивление бесполезно” (AwataR)

Hey, where's my wallet?

I need directions. How can I get these drones to notice me?

Hi! I'm a lobbyist for an alien, possibly hostile, foreign power. I want to buy influence in your government.

Ohh! Ohh! Give to my party!

I'll sell out my constituents for a dollar!

It's not a bribe if you call it a political contribution.

Hey, where's my wallet?

You want to see Tex. Three halls down, then left. Now how about that political contribution?

Of course. I was going to write this check for forty thousand, but decided to write it for zero instead. This gives a savings of forty thousand that you can apply to any program you like.

Forty thousand! Wow!

Slide a couple of contracts my way and the next check will be for a savings of sixty thousand.

Hey, where's my wallet?

Howdy, stranger. The name's Tex. I'm from Texas, where everything's big!

Our cars are big! Our houses are big! Even our furniture is big!

Shoot! You're big too! You from Texas?

No, sir. Earth quarantine forces have orders to shoot me on sight if I even enter your solar system.