Alternate punchline: god: HEY MAN WHERE'S MY TEMPLE t-rex: I told you! Nowhere! god: SUCKS

Screw em!

My proudest achievement!

I basically end all my five-paragraph essays like this

All the great actors ask if it was okay after a shot

This just in: cephalopods damn freaky

A grim vision into a world where life-sized cardboard cutouts of yourself can be made on demand!

Mostly a blessing

Listen: the robert service poem should be read in a slow, growly voice.

I've been led to understand it's cool, anyway