I know now why you cry, but it's something i can never do. unless it's related somehow to batman

That's where i'm always correct AND naked AND at my cleanest… /ladies/

Rejected candidates: dog from another bog, aunt from another plant, friend from another rear end

Hah hah hah

Forget this, I'll just write a new comic! it's a family drama in which the prodigal daughter, Megaa, goes up against her uncle Snake, Gemini, Cut, Hard, and even Mr. Guts Mann.

You may be rolling your eyes and saying «man these cards don't sound so awesome» until I tell you that the stats on the back cross over with Marvel trading cards, so now you can directly compare Krishna's power to Wolverine's. Yeah. I thought that'd get your attention.

On one hand i think you could build momentum-increasing trampolines pretty easily, but on the other hand i also think they could kill you pretty easily, but on my vestigial third hand i also think it would be a pretty fun way to go

CITIZENS IN THE U.S. COURT SYSTEM: why do you say you're taking the fifth when you could say you're LEAVING four fifths remaining for somebody else?? accentuate the positive

My favourite thing of all time is when someone looks in a rulebook and says there's nothing there about [ANY ANIMAL] being banned from playing the game! this lookup happens extremely rarely in movies not made for children though

«I don't know why I didn't wish for Moriarty to turn into a beautiful white dove sooner,» muttered Sherlock. «He's a better pet now.» And the adventure was just beginning…