My guidance counsellor never told me that you could be a SLANG ENGINEER when i grew up, which in retrospect was fair on account of that's not actually a job

Not mine though; we're good

Oh also! the odd-numbered star trek movies are bad while the even-numbered movies are good, unless the movie is divisible by 5, in which case it's bad again, or divisible by 11, in which case it's good again. FACT

Punch the monkey and end world hunger to win a free iPad? ON IT.

The key containarium 2000 is just as elaborate and rococo as you'd imagine, all spinning gears and brass EVERYWHERE

I wrote this comic while eating an ice cream sandwich on a stick, swear to god

MY FRIEND YOUR DIET MIGHT BE RHETORICAL BALONEY / YOUR DIET MIGHT IN FACT BE RHETORICAL BALONEY SANDWICHES

It's a great game to play. look down the street, see tons of agents of the conspiracy, all on their cell phones, all talking and reporting about YOU

Linguistically speaking in my pants, i mean

It is third place, TOPS.