Some days you intend to make a game boy age-of-consent joke, and some days the game boy age-of-consent jokes just show up! TODAY IS ONE THE LATTER FOR GOOD OL' T-REX

I don't know what morris is on about; that story's awesome

ATTENTION PROFESSIONAL POKER PLAYERS: you will crumble before the might of this new poker face. you will spill your drink on your lap. these two events are unrelated, but you will never be able to prove it.

I DON'T KNOW HOW I MISSED THAT THE FIRST TIME

If you don't rescue me then i'm gonna get cheesed off, okay?

SHE WILL WEAR THESE BEAUTIFUL DRESSES AND WE WILL GO OUT ON PICNICS, SOMETIMES ANYWAY, NOT AS OFTEN AS WE'D LIKE. WE USED TO DO IT ALL THE TIME, DON'T YOU REMEMBER? IT'S JUST A ROUGH PATCH, SAMANTHA

Consumer! did you know that all other non-diamond gemstones are LITERAL CRAP when used in wedding rings? she will never hold your hand again!

Historians: do you make up alternate histories ALL THE TIME? i think if i was a historian i would make up alternate histories ALL THE TIME. they would be hella informed.

YOU CAN NEVER TURN HIM OFF

She's actually wonderful, but turns out imaginary FULL-POTENTIAL HAPPY t-rex is also imaginary STAY AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND t-rex