Инстинкт

Haha, tricked you again! Not Zelda. I don't want to spend all of my ideas at once.
You may say that the advanced Chozo people had long evolved past animalistic rituals by the time Samus came along, but I say you're wrong.
I also say that now they now apparently live in some…building. I don't know, I am so vague as to where SSB comics take place. It's usually just a blank panel with a couch or something on there. Well, now it's a building with really clean walls and atleast one couch!
Morning Marth cannot decide which eye to squint angrily out of. Atleast his pajamas are kinda cool.

Революционная концепция

Ye, the Internet Channel («demo») hath finally debuted. I have my Wii set up about two feet away from a desktop computer, however, so the novelty is a bit lost on me. But hey: now I can watch things on YouTube and the like without slowing down whatever I'm working on, and that's prettymuch what I'm going to be using it for. Hooray for glorifying copyright infringement!

Hambulance (Часть 1)

Hefting that obese pig around Outset for treasure was slow and boring, so, naturally, I made a comic about it! Join us for the thrilling conclusion some time in the general next week-ish direction!
Again: fortifying one part of your body, that being your feet or your wrists or whatever, does not make you invincible. Some day you will learn this, my friends.
BLAND 2D BACKGROUNDS WOOO

Hambulance (Часть 2)

THRILLINGLY CONCLUDED'D!!
Ye, I did try this because I'm lazy and demand instant gratification. It does work, too; so long as you can keep ahead of it, letting a provoked pig chase you up Outset's cliffside to reach valuable treasure is fast and easy compared to schlepping it all the way there yourself. Unfortunately, once you get there…the pig doesn't stop chasing you. It knocked me right off the island.

Deep in the Moron Mines

You know what my favorite thing is about being a cartoonist?
I get to make up my own sound effects.
And you know what my second favorite thing is about being a cartoonist?
I get to throw stuff to the floor and try to write down the sounds they make.
Thok.
So – jubilations – here's finally another Twilight Princess comic, woo. Minor second dungeon spoiler, but that's okay. No, yes it is. Shut up.
I'm going to have to get used to drawing TP!Link. He's not as ridiculously skinny as OoT!Link.
MORON RHYMES WITH GORON; BATHE IN MY WIT.

Fishpockets

Ararrr, this is a poorly-drawn comic. I accept it. I am far too busy playing Phoenix Wright: Justice For All to be making the arts. CRIME MUST BE STOPPED. SUPPORT CRIME STOPPAGE BY BUYING THIS GAME BECAUSE IT IS AWESOME TO THE MAX.
Well, it happened again. I abandoned Animal Crossing: Wild World like I abandoned the first Animal Crossing, and so many other sim-games before it. So stop asking me for my friend code, jerks.
But back in ye olden times when I did play it actively, I'd run into the same problem time and again: picking up something amazing and not having the room to carry it. It sucks when you've narrowed down the candidates for being discarded forever between a magical gold-plated dragonfly that grants wishes and the holy grail.
Also, I don't work in Animal Crossing style. Physics do not work that way. LAWS OF SCIENCE HAVE BEEN BROKEN.

Objectionable

People ask me for Phoenix Wright comics and THIS IS WHAT YOU GET. Somehow, Phoenix always winds up with an annoying schoolgirl following him around as his junior sidekick thing. It probably looks somewhat questionable.
Anyway, if you haven't already (for whatever reason that honestly isn't good enough), buy Phoenix Wright: Ace Attourney and its sequel, Justice For All. Really solid point-and-click type lawyer game thing and no DS library seems complete without it. Phoenix says "Well excuuuuuuse me, princess!" at one point, and that's more than enough reason to run out of your house and buy it right now. I need to redeem myself for drawing Edgeworth like a retard.

Food

I can't stop drawing Roy like a freakish gremlin.
And Party Ball! Everybody loves food. Oho.
And that mass of food just gets less and less recognizable in each panel. I don't even know.
And Zebes is kindof hard to draw.
Annnd…that's all I have to say to you people. Go away.

Oh, the Excitement

Add cars to the list of things I can't draw.
So I got ExciteTruck a couple weeks ago. I enjoyed its bikier predecessors, and I cannot pass up the promise of trucks and excitement sharing one environment (who could?). This, combined with a soundtrack made up of a single electric guitar loop and jets of fire shooting out of every orifice on the vehicles definitely lives up to the manliness factor. Seriously. Every level has the same music, and it's just one guitar riff over and over again. This would be very inconvenient if the game didn't have one of them fancy «make your own soundtrack» features, where you can upload .mp3s of your own crap to be played instead and it is awesome. So it's okay. If fire determines how cool a game is, ExciteTruck is cool. If you get a speed boost, your car catches on fire. If your engine explodes, your car catches on fire.
If you park in a no-parking zone, your car catches on fire.
Discerning good fire from bad fire can be challenging.
As for the magical tilt-sensing controls: I think they work pretty well. I'm not a huge racing game enthusiast, but it's much easier to get pulled into a game where physically leaning into turns is functional and doesn't just make you look like a chump.
The game seems kinda short, but what it does have is pulled off alright. Except multiplayer is only two-player, which is LAME.
I'm not really liking this comic, but I've been busy working on this here website so shut your face.

All Keyed Up

Thought I already sucked everything that could possibly be confused with humor out of Ocarina of Time?
Think again.
Though it does apply to basically every Zelda game. «Your stupid key can only be used once» nonsense. It's nonsense.
Also, I don't know about you, but I distinctly remember the Spirit Temple being random orange shapes.