Off to new destinations, if we can figure out where we're going

Florence, if we go to the spaceport, they'll want to charge us for berthing.

Wait a moment. Spending Sense… tingling. There's money in the ship's account.

Well, I guess we're going to the spaceport. If we've got money, we've got to spend it.

Sam, there are models to use for budgeting other than that of the United States Congress.

Off to new destinations, if we can figure out where we're going

Where did this money come from?

Oh, that was me. I was curious. Joe implies this was the tenth named storm this year.

It turns out the reason why there are so many storms is because the planet has a large wobble on its axis. This early terraforming picture shows why.

You were given money because of a wobbly axis?

I should explain this when it's not so much of a distraction. Right now, I'm finding it very distracting that no one is flying the ship.

Off to new destinations, if we can figure out where we're going

Now that I have money, I need someplace to hide. Money is something to be spent, not wasted on creditors.

The spaceport is looking like a better idea all the time, especially the way Florence is doing it.

No one is ever going to look for me in a hangar that's been paid for two weeks in advance.

Off to new destinations, if we can figure out where we're going

We've landed. Now where did this money come from, and can we get more?

It came from Ecosystems Unlimited. It's what I was trying to tell you about the moons.

This planet was designed to have two moons. Here's a picture showing both coming over the horizon.

But we only have one moon now. That means something bad must have happened to the other one!

Hey, I had nothing to do with it! That moon was gone when I got here!

Off to new destinations, if we can figure out where we're going

This planet started off with one moon, about 1500 km in diameter.

Earth's moon is 3476 km in diameter. Someone decided it would even out if they took a moon from the local gas giant that was about 2000 km in diameter.

Was that a good decision.

It's a decision I would have made.

Ouch. You'd think they'd have safeguards against something like that.

Off to new destinations, if we can figure out where we're going

They learned a number of things on this move. They learned that with the same average density, a 1500 km moon and a 2000 km moon do not equal a 3500 km moon.

They learned how difficult it is to get large moons into a close stable orbit. Planets with multiple moons have moons that are tiny compared to the mass of the planet. They finally gave up and sent the moon back to the gas giant.

The only information that I can't find is who made all these bad decisions.

They learned how to cover their tracks. They did learn something important.

Off to new destinations, if we can figure out where we're going

That brings us up to present date. They're trying again with a single moon model.

Using data from the ship that brought me here, I was able to plot a more efficient orbital insertion. We got ten percent of the savings.

Boring.

Now here is where we can make even more money.

An intense, riveting, attention grabbing boring.

Off to new destinations, if we can figure out where we're going

The second moon move has gotten quite political. Everything that can fly is being used. That gives us a very nice opportunity.

Yes. All those carefully orchestrated movements. Our going up there would be like the unexpected arrival of a drunken clog dancer during Beethoven's second movement. But with a suitable incentive, I think we can remain grounded.

Sam, we don't want to be known for things like that.

Are you sure? People pay good money for me not to do things. It's a reputation we can build on.

Off to new destinations, if we can figure out where we're going

With so few ships in the system, and trying to move both moons at once, there's virtually no free transport capacity anywhere.

Everyone knew this was coming and should have been prepared. In theory, there should be no work for us at all.

Luckily for us, there are always a few people who believe that reality and the laws of physics don't apply to them.

Off to new destinations, if we can figure out where we're going

Nice job, Florence. You go to bed now. I can handle things from here.

Did you notice Florence looks kind of pale?

Yeah. The Doctor says it's because she needs blood.

Pale. Sleeping during the day. Needs blood. Has fangs. Those are symptoms of something, I just know it!