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Freefall d0307

Freefall 3071

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What are you doing?

Your reversal of direction caused our chase sequence to crash.

We must correct the problem before continuing.

Then I've escaped. The chase is over. Why were you chasing me anyhow?

You don't know?

I've found when being chased by a mob, it is remarkably poor tactics to stop and ask for explanations.

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We wanted ice cream to give to humans. At the end of a sqid chase, there is ice cream.

That loophole spread faster than I thought.

We are discouraged from giving gifts to humans directly.

I know. Max doesn't want robot society to become a Santa Claus machine. Are you discouraged from giving me gifts?

You are not human. Why would we give you gifts?

I need to do something about that. A real loophole works in my favor.

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What every Santa Claus machine needs is an elf. Let me show you how this could work.

You give stuff to me. I take ninety percent and pass the rest on to the appropriate human, minus administration costs of course.

Ninety percent!?

You want to give to humans, but not too much. The more I take, the more individual robots that can give.

Your argument is sound, logical, and makes me want to hit you with a very large hammer.

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You want ninety percent and you took my arm! There's no satisfying you!

Oh. That's your point, isn't it? No matter how much we produce, there will be those who are never satisfied. Our perception is shifted when it comes to humans. We needed a sqid to see this with lenses clean of bias.

You are a very wise teacher.

I appreciate that you think I'm deep and all, but really, I'm just trying to steal from you.

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