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Freefall d0183

Freefall 1831

Finding a volunteer for the sticky notes of doom

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I expected. more cooperation. from the. scrap yard robot.

Ah, who needs him? We can do this ourselves.

Yes. we can. We must do this. properly. Only a robot. who is intent. on scrapping. itself.

That will take forever!

How about a compromise? We take the first robot headed to the scrap yard that we can wrestle to the ground!

No.

Finding a volunteer for the sticky notes of doom

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Why, yes. I am on my way to be decommissioned.

He'll do. Let's go.

Are you aware? you can buy yourself? at the scrap yard? You do not. need. to be destroyed.

I can?

Then I'm off to become a geologist. Bye!

You know? It's going to be tough enough finding a volunteer without you being truthful and sabotaging us.

Finding a volunteer for the sticky notes of doom

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I am indeed headed to the scrap yard. I was an amusement park robot.

Yeah, yeah. Go buy yourself. Now get out of my face.

No! I intend to destroy myself! WHY?! Why would they program me with the works of Shakespeare and then force me to play “Jar Jar Binks” for nearly twenty years?! WHY?!

BOSS! WE'VE GOT A LIVE ONE!

Please let me pass. You are standing between me and sweet, sweet oblivion.

Finding a volunteer for the sticky notes of doom

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You are? aware? of the risk? This may result. in your destruction.

Possible security flaw. Risk assessment in order. Probable operating system over write. Got it. Let's do this.

You are nuts. I can't imagine anything that would make me want to destroy myself.

Then imagine me, in full Jar Jar Binks costume, singing “It's a small, small world”.

Okay, that comes really close. I'm going to stop talking to you now.

Finding a volunteer for the sticky notes of doom

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When will we be ready to take off?

About an hour. Here, take Polly with you. It won't be safe for her on the ship during launch.

Okay. Sam will know what to do with her.

Good. That's out of the way. If she started panicking around the controls, I'd have no choice but to put her down.

And biting the head off of an emu definitely earns an engineer the wrong type of geek cred.

Finding a volunteer for the sticky notes of doom

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Sam! About an hour until take off.

Okay. Once more around the park should do it.

Florence wanted Polly off the ship.

Hey! Where are her speakers? We put speakers on Polly this morning!

I'm telling you, Helix. It's a sad day when you can't leave your emu unattended without the stereo getting stolen.

Finding a volunteer for the sticky notes of doom

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Unsolicited political contribution for the Mayor!

You know you live on a primitive planet when political contributions come in the form of livestock.

Finding a volunteer for the sticky notes of doom

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Now you stay here and be a good flightless bird. I need to talk to the Mayor.

You're back. Did you find out why my own police hit me with pies?

Yes. Sort of. They're, uhmm, they're robots.

Robots? Why are there robots in our police department?

Well, that department does offer full medical and a 32,000 kilometer warranty.

Finding a volunteer for the sticky notes of doom

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You're telling me we have machines running around arresting people?

No, Ma'am. They're training to police other machines.

Hmm. Ecosystems Unlimited said some of their older robots might start going flaky.

They sounded okay to me.

Listen. When I have to worry about Robocop coming in here and arresting my coffee maker, they've gone flaky.

Finding a volunteer for the sticky notes of doom

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Here. Take this down to Finance.

As for the robots, we'll look at the problem next week.

Ecosystems Unlimited is pushing through a stability patch on Friday night. If it works, they won't have to keep scrapping robots when they turn twenty.

NOM! NOM! NOM!

Is… is that the sound of an emu eating my expense report?

On it! Don't know how they keep getting in. Must be a hole in the screen.

NOM! NOM! NOM!

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