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Freefall 3161 - 3170
Freefall 3161

Should we meet the parents?

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I'll give you my answer in the morning. I still want to sleep on this.
I'll need someone to cover my job. I'll also need someone to take care of Beekay. I don't know how well he'd do in microgravity and he keeps trying to eat the captain.
It's also possible he might adapt too well. The last thing I want to do is inadvertently create a race of fluffy space piranhas.
Freefall 3162

Should we meet the parents?

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I'll let you sleep on things. Good night, Winston.
Good night, Florence.
Heh. I think he wants to keep the pack together and have you sleep with us.
Haruff! Ruff! Ruff!
With all the genetic engineering that goes on, why has no one ever put in a ten second thought to speech delay?
Freefall 3163

Should we meet the parents?

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[!1.5]Thump! Thump!
Thump! Thump!
Freefall 3164

To teach a thief

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Wake up, Helix! Wake up! Today is the day we teach robots how to steal!
Now robots won't commit a crime if they think they're harming humans, so what's the first thing we take?
A commission?
*… Point. Okay, what's the second thing we take?
Freefall 3165

To teach a thief

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After a commission, the next thing we take is the moral high ground.
Humans lie, cheat, and steal. Until you understand why these admirable traits exist, you're at a disadvantage.
With blockchain and near infinite storage to record our actions, we could set up a system among robots where honesty is normal and verifiable.
There's the other reason you need me. If left to your own devices, you are going to engineer all the fun out of your lives.
Freefall 3166

To teach a thief

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Good morning, Mr. Starfall.
A little drone told us you're planning a class to teach robots how to be criminals.
Our question to you is.
Do you have room for two more?
Freefall 3167

To teach a thief

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There are many, many robot police officers.
It is the most popular occupation for new arrivals.
There are effectively zero robot criminals.
Our system is out of balance.
We wish to help our friends remain employed. We wish to become criminals.
People usually don't turn to crime for altruistic reasons, but since your heart's in the right place, I believe I can help you.
Freefall 3168

To teach a thief

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Do we become criminals now?
Not yet. You need to learn what crime is all about.
After you learn why crime always appears in society and the purpose it serves, then you can make an informed decision about which side of the law you want to be on.
I was not expecting an orientation speech.
Becoming a criminal is a big step. The last thing you want in a career change is buyer's remorse.
Freefall 3169

To teach a thief

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Welcome. I am inventory scanner 1672622.
Thank you. I am officer Red. This is officer Green. We are interested in learning criminal behavior.
You are in the correct location. We are criminals. Visually imperfect produce is designated trash. We routed the items to food preparation unit 9109384. They were made into a free healthy salad. The salad was delivered to Mr. Smith who posted recently that he was not eating enough vegetables.
DEVIL! HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF!?
Excuse my partner. He was not expecting to see this level of malfeasance displayed openly.
Freefall 3170

To teach a thief

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Good morning. I am a candidate for the position of thief. My scrap date was two days ago and I am in need of employment.
You know robots are no longer being scrapped.
Yes. Because of your illegal actions, robots have gained citizenship. I wish to learn more about how illegal actions can advance the public good.
While the social conscience does worry me, I've been told that you don't steal with the thieves you want, you steal with the thieves you have.
You've stolen a quote. Have we begun?
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