This is a public service announcement. Be on the lookout for this man.
Bruno Bunkleyutz is wanted for crimes ranging from stealing a safety pin from a wolf cub's tail on 8/27/96 to his recent impersonation of Pete Abrams. If found, beat him with a large stick, then report his location to the Rothland guards.
Sigh. Someday I'll be famous enough to have public service announcements warning people about me.
Remember to keep your helmet on when they photograph you. They had to take your picture down in the post office because it gave seeing eye dogs heart attacks.